There are days when I wonder if I have stumbled into some poorly written parody of reality. In assessing the greatest threats that law enforcement will face in the future, Australian Federal Police Commissioner, Mick Keelty announced this week that the greatest future threat we face is . . . wait for it . . . Cyborgs. Yes, Cyborgs:

“Our environmental scanning tells us that even with some of the cloning of human beings – not necessarily in Australia but in those countries that are going to allow it – you could have potentially a cloned part-person, part-robot,” he told a parliamentary inquiry into the future impact of organised crime in Canberra.

Putting aside the Commissioner’s all too sci-fi sounding ‘environmental scanning’ — which seems to suggest absolutely nothing connected to reality — Keetly believes that aside from bilking people out of money through virtual worlds, that organized criminals will begin to create hybrid human-robot henchmen. Of course, one would assume that eventually the cyborgs would simply overthrow the puny non-hybrid mobsters and take over, leaving simply a cyborg mafia. Nonetheless, the Commissioner did not seem to suggest the need to start building cyborg policemen to counter the threat, but I am sure he was just priming the pump for his budget request.

I understand that it has become the norm for public officials and new organizations to present new and interesting things to frighten us, but come on; you’re not even trying anymore!